So- I'm in this new job. It's a love hate relationship. There are elements that I can't stand and there are elements that are good. My main issue right now is feeling anxious and stressed. I know in my mind that everything is going to be fine- but sometimes thinking about it is overwhelming. I need to keep a positive attitude- that is essential. Sometimes though- I just need to cry just to get all the emotions out. I find that I procrastinate (as per usual) but I always get what I need done. However- procrastinating is stressful too because all day I will just think about what I need to have done, but I don't actually work on it. I will go into a day being anxious and it will go really well, then I'll be fine for a day and the day will go bad and it turns into a vicious cycle. I'm kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place. But, I have amazing sources of support. I have an amazing husband who never ceases to amaze me with his strength and compassion. I have a great family who keeps me in their prayers. I have some girlfriends going through the same thing as me right now who keep me sane. I have friends who are always there just to talk when I need them. And of course I have God who has been an amazing source of strength for me. Ever since I was 19 I've been seriously writing in a journal. What those entries look like changes according to the situation. I like to call it my journal/memory book/ prayer book. In tough times it is like letters to God. It comforts me to put town something concrete. Prayers are my comfort in difficult times. Some days I find myself praying before bed, in the morning, in the car, in my classroom, during breaks, after lunch, in the evening, and before bed again. It is like a warm blanket wrapped around me when I need it most. I understand when people don't identify with "religion" per say- but I don't know what I would do without a personal relationship with God. This relationship is outside of formal settings, and has nothing to do with what other people want to tell you about the God they know. It is only about the two of us. I'm thankful for this relationship. I'm thankful for so much in my life.