The Long Road

We'll I've finally made it. I'm into my last semester of school, and as of last friday I finished my last University class (well until I do my Master's Degree at some point). It felt surreal. I've realized however, those classes were the last time someone was going to draw out the solution for me. Think about it, whenever I wrote a paper, drew up a plan, finished an assignment, or created a presentation, these lines were always drawn for me. They said that there were multiple paths to the same destination, and this, this, and this, were feasable ways to get there. There were always guidelines, some more strict than others, and ALWAYS grades that went along with the completion of the project. Now that I've finished these classes I've come to realize that now I am the one who will have to create these guidelines for others. No one is going tell me how I should lead a class, how to get students to fulfill the outcomes, and exactly which lines to follow. The nice thing about teaching is that you can drive your own road, so to speak. But the thing is, that road is often gravelly and full of potholes, some more massive than others. Those completion grades that I received? They pretty much mean a whole lot of nothing now, other than they allow me to get scholarships and my teaching certification. Now I will be "graded" on the success of my students. However, the method, path, and technique that I used to help my students suceed is neither clear nor in a nice little package for me to pull apart and then put back together in a cohesive way.
Basically, I started my practicum today. And I feel shaky and unsteady. I NEED to impress the people I'm working for. I MUST contribute to the community even if it kills me. Above all, I MUST try NEW things. I'll be honest with you. I'm not a big fan of change. I never have been. And now I have to challenge myself to face my fears straight on. However, I am looking forward to this scary and new experience. It will be a huge learning curve, due to the amout of programming I have to learn. However, I'm hoping, no, I KNOW the benefits will be enormous. The excitement I see in these kids in the french class is unparalelled. Gone (well going...at least) are the days of filling out worksheet after worksheet (which ps. I loved, so I'm a big nerd) and now are the days of action, communications, and meaningful language learning. So in a nutshell, it's different than the way I learned language growing up. Its ALL so different. All of a sudden, I am the nerdy teacher instead of the nerdy student. And I have to get the attention of 30 different personalities and learning styles in one big classroom. Add to that, I have to manage behaviour, create resources, plan lessons and units, and be an Expert in my field. I would love to fall back into worksheets and rote lessons, if it were effective, because you know what? It is the easy way out. However, I can't do that. The kids tell you through their actions, personalities, and their words, that they are meant for much better things. And I need to provide for them. It is such a huge responsibility.
I'm learning as I go. Swim or drown. Go big or go home.

Alors.. (and excuse the missing accents)
Bonjour, tout le monde! Comment ca-va?! Je m'appelle Madame .... Je suis votre enseignante de Francais! On va apprendre tous ensemble. Viens avec moi....le voyage ainsi commence...