Sorry...

It seems the only times I write a new post is when I a) go on a vacation or b) encounter a crazy customer. This post falls under heading b. You are warned.

Things NOT to do if you expect good service.

1. Tell your salesperson that you have a VERY difficult foot to fit and they won't be able to sell you anything. Then ask to try on a million different shoes. ( Because now I REALLY want to help you waste my time- you are the type of customer who finds something wrong with every pair of shoes you try) (And yes, after 25 pairs, I will tell you we don't have your size in that shoe, or that one, or that one...even if we do)
2. Tell the salesperson that you have been back multiple times and returned every shoe you have bought because "nothing seems to fit quite right"...then giggle about it. ( Oh yes, its SOO funny that you return everything you buy)
3. Admit "I will most likely be returning these" and then buy them anyways. (Whats the frickin point?!)
4. Snarkily say " Oh I always get a deal here, because I'm SUCH a good customer". (P.S. If you were such a "good" customer I would know who you were...you would have a customer card...and you wouldn't EVER say that sentence to me)
5. Call me to tell me you returned a pair of shoes last week and the salesperson (aka my co-worker) was the snottiest person you have ever encountered because she told you that you wore your shoes and we could only give you an instore credit- not a refund. Then tell me you argued with her for a while and insisted you only wore your shoes indoors. Then tell me that you are a senior and you called all of your friends and told them about my "snotty"co-worker at this place of business. Then proceed to ask me sweetly about your new order of shoes and when they will be in. Then complain about the amount of time it takes. Because really, its all our fault. Then, hang up, because that gives me time to go to the back, find the shoes you returned, and spend 15 minutes picking all the crap out of the soles which you "didn't wear". This whole process will make me MUCH happier the next time I see you.
6. Walk three feet in the store, or better yet, walk by the store, pronouncing every shoe in the store "old lady shoes". Admittedly we have many many "old lady shoes"- however, we also have some really cutes ones. Open your mind. (However, if you don't...don't bother coming in).
7. Ask me if I have your size on a pair of shoes labeled "Last Pair".
8. Please. Please swear at me, when first thing in the morning I am in the middle of pulling 12 full size tables out of the store, because I can't help you at the moment. Then ask me to make an "exception" this one time because you are in "such" a hurry. You swearing at me in the first place really makes me want to rush.
9. Phone the store after hours and leave a nasty message for us to discover in the morning. Then, call 10 minutes after opening and remind us about your message and expect us to bend over backwards for you.
10. After I have closed the entire store, please ambush me out the back door and give me trouble for closing 2 (yes 2) minutes early. Then try to sweet talk me into letting your aunt get her shoes that she ordered out the back door. Then, when I refuse, because again, we are CLOSED, and because she has never tried the shoes on EVER...then berate me and tell me you are going to call my boss. That makes me really happy. (True story: I told this guy to come back when we are actually open if he wants his aunt to try on shoes. It takes more than 2 minutes to try on shoes that she has never worn before. He again told me he was going to report me to my boss.... I told him to go right ahead because if my boss were there he would have told me to close 15 minutes early not just 2!) ( I totally wish he had called my boss- he would have gotten an EARFUL about realistic expectations when you are going shopping, and told to get out and not to come back if he is going to treat his employees that way!)